I have a love/hate relationship with Achievement Hunter. I love their videos, especially their Let's Plays, because they're funny and long and provide excellent background dialogue while I'm doing things around the house. However, the pervasive background misogyny and general Freudian anal stage bullshit/weird juvenile homoeroticism makes me sometimes want to abandon the site and never go back, because they make it very clear that as a woman in her late twenties, I am not their target audience. People like me are instead only the brunt of sexual humour.

One thing that has bothered me in less insidious ways has been the way the American guys mercilessly tease Gavin for his Oxfordshire dialect — which is utterly fucking ridiculous of course. Guys from the American south — from Texas — are mocking the dude who speaks with the definition of the perfect English accent. It is a thing that would only be possible... in Texas.

But I keep coming back, because they make me laugh, in the intervals between making me extremely fucking uncomfortable. And that means I have stuck around long enough to hear Gavin's mannerisms begin to creep into the other guys' speech.

"What are you on about?"
"That was top!"
... and adopting all the various, specifically British words for penis and the things one does with them.

That is happening because his English is superior, lads. Its memetic prowess is greater.

Have reached critical soul deficit. Going to bed, returning to marking exams tomorrow.

The good news is the essays are done. The bad news is the prof didn't give me an answer key for the exam.

And now I don't know if I can speak English anymore. Is 'destructed' an acceptable verb to describe the looting of a building? Can you say that Roman citizens 'destructed' the Colosseum for building materials?

I am definitely losing it. I DO know that, for fuck's sake, 'Roman' is fucking capitalized... some of these essays read like Tumblr posts.

I hate children. I'm divided on whether I want any, ever. Which is to say, I do not want children, but J-M does, and so does the fate of our world, because I can't leave the rest of you incompetent rubes in charge of the population of the future, can I??

But for some reason, my ovaries get all in a twist over a fictional alien dude holding his alien kid. So hottttttttt. I refer specifically to the very top left image of the sequential art below - which, technically, is probably kid Thane being held by his dad, but that's not where my mind went when I saw it.



By pen-gwyn.

Sometimes I go on Oi Ocha benders where I drink a whole case in like, a week and don't sleep for days.

It's like, I'll be on my way home from somewhere and it'll be 11pm and I'll be like, "I CAN'T WAIT TO DRINK MORE OI OCHA" and J-M will be like noooooooooooooooooooooooo

Oi Ocha is my cocaine

The title of this entry is the sound I made when I came across these images.

I've seen people type out those letters to convey a sentiment which I think we can all understand, but I've never actually made that kind of noise in my throat.

I'm here to tell you that it's real, and it comes from fanart of my Dragon Age love interests.



by Lady Zolstice (Tumblr | DeviantArt)

For the most part, I don't give a fuck what people think of me.

But that's actually a lie. I am constantly worried about what people think of me. It's just that I only think of certain Homo sapiens as people. You're only 'people' if I like or admire you in some way. And then I really, really care what you think. Way too much.

Actually, even some inanimate objects are people.

Right now I have on my desk a PhD dissertation from 1907, and my note-taking is being interrupted by my brain worrying whether the book is enjoying the music I'm listening to.

My brain is saying, "This book probably doesn't get taken out of the library very often."

It's saying, "It's not prepared to listen to this newfangled space music you have on right now."

My brain is worrying that this book from 1907 might be stressing out. That it might be experiencing future shock.

I'm fucking nuts.

I love my N7 Valiant, but if I were a Mass Effect gun, I would be the M-15 Vindicator: modest, light, and accurate — but only when up against cover.

I understand why they implemented the twenty second countdown in Mass Effect multiplayer lobbies when three of four players have readied up. But frankly, I preferred to votekick idle players rather than have my blood pressure pummelled every time I have to level up while everyone else is ready to go.

I've wanted these for a while, and now they're on sale: Mass Effect wall stickers. We bought the Paragon and Renegade logos to go on either side of the window behind the couch where we play many hours of Mass Effect.



All of the Mass Effect themed stickers are on sale right now for 20% off with the checkout code SHEPARD.

Buy any of the stickers with Thane on them and your purchase comes with a free Elana to rub her booty on your wall and croon incomprehensibly.