I always said - Wii Fit

I've been single for seven months now, and we're coasting right on time into that delicious period of feeling ready to start dating but being terrified of being intimate with someone new. It's awesome.   Right on cue, I'm developing some wicked body image issues.

But the gods have chosen to deliver a Wii Fit into my life, which will either be a focal point to spur on an unhealthy obsession, or redirect my preoccupation into a better direction. I'm hoping for the latter.

I did my first Wii Fit-guided workout tonight.

I fucking hate exercise. I'm bad at it. I treat my body like a shoddy goat-drawn cart; I feed it crap and expect nothing more than to be transported where I want to be. I eat irregularly, and when I do, I subsist on junk food; food is either a sensual luxury (i.e. give me whatever is most delicious) or just raw fuel (i.e. give me whatever's cheapest and will make me stop feeling hungry).

To rights, I should be about five hundred gazillion pounds overweight by now, according to the way I treat myself, and the only reason why I don't have to lug my ass around in a separate motor vehicle is because of some SOLID genes from my mom.

That being said, I LOVE video games.

And I love anthropomorphized cartoons of inanimate objects.

The second the Wii Fit balance board made a cute noise and had a talk bubble on my TV, I was sold.

It's messed up. I need someone to tell me to exercise, or I will not do it. I used to have a personal trainer before I moved, and that worked for a while, but was WAY expensive. Also, she was a bit flaky, and was not a cartoon character with a cute voice.

I obey video games. I obey screens and cute cartoon voices. And in my basement, I can just laugh instead of feeling intensely ashamed at letting other people at the gym see me huff and puff after just a few lunges.

Also, the Wii Fit makes a pretty CHART for me! Yayyyy! I love charts and graphs!! God I'm such a nerdy archaeology student.

So I'm actually kind of excited about this.

When you set up your Mii in Wii Fit, it asks you to set up fitness goals. I chose to max out the amount of weight it would let me try to lose in a duration of six months. I don't know what effect that has on the exercises it chooses for you. I noticed that I wasn't allowed to change the number of repetitions for my strength training exercises, or the duration of my run, or anything like that. And it gave me stars and confetti when I reached thirty minutes of exercise time. But maybe that's just standard? I don't know.

I like the positive feedback it gives me. I KNOW it's not judging me, which is nice. And it's fun to play with the little 'balance dot' that appears during a yoga pose. The graphics are cute and exciting and make me laugh instead of being worried and taking myself too seriously and putting myself down. And I don't care what anyone says, it is WAY more fun to pretend jog in a cartoon world than to actually jog outside where it's cold and there are cars and annoying people.

Maybe once I reach my Wii Fit goal, I'll be brave enough to do real exercise, maybe even with real people at a real gym. Because I was really working hard at times tonight. It made me do pushups (!!), and jogging in place is still an aerobic exercise no matter how silly it looks. So reaching my Wii Fit goal won't be a joke, no matter how questionable their BMI calculations might be. And when I weigh that amount, I will surely feel very confident with myself.

It comes with a calendar, and you press A to stamp the calendar, and you can unlock different stamps. So it's really just more positive calendar reinforcement. I am very very into that.