I always said - People I admire, real and fictional

There are two people in this world, the thought of whom I find deeply inspiring. When I'm down, or lazy, or overwhelmed, these people inhabit my mental arsenal. I think of them, and I am filled with the desire to be more like them. I become guided by the "what would she do?" line of advice. Somehow decisions become easier that way.

The first person is my friend Rachel. She is such an enormously capable person. She is a talented problem solver, of both logistical and interpersonal problems. She is a diplomat, a mover of things, an out-of-the-box visionary. She smoothes things over so quickly that you don't even notice it until it's over. I am amazed by her every day.

She is the manager of my choir, and without her we would become a milling mass of chitchatting singers who don't accomplish anything or make any decisions. She steers us around, organizes our opinions, presents options and collects data. She manages people around to keep us happy and mostly drama-free. Really, we're like a bunch of baby chickens and she's like a big fluffy broom that sweeps us around where we need to go.

I've known her for a few years now, and in that space of time she graduated from university and got an amazing job in the administration of the Toronto Symphony Orchestra. Now she steers around professional absent-minded classical artists. That's how fucking good she is at logistics and people management.

I also happen to know that her bedroom is exceedingly messy. This keeps her real and makes her an aspirational figure to me. My bedroom is messy too, but having a messy bedroom doesn't stop Rachel from being drop-dead awesome. So maybe I can be awesome as well.

So when I'm confronted with a tricky problem, I think, what would Rachel do? Rachel would apply all her cunning and sweetness. And I try to do that too.

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The other person is fictional, and is really just an archetype. But these days, I think of Sakura from Cardcaptor Sakura. She, along with most female characters in anime worlds, is filled with a special indefatigable cheer and optimism, combined with pristine Japanese politeness and adherence to duty.

I've written in my paper diary and my Blogagotchi many times about this word, but I don't think I've mentioned it here: ganbatte. Ganbaru. It's a rich point in Japanese: one word that combines all the spirit of "go for it!" with the strength and sympathy of "be resolute and endure!" as well as the motivation and encouragement of "try your hardest!". If I had a robot that did only one thing, I would ask it to say, "ganbatte kudasai! Ganbatte ne!" at key points of my melancholy or distress, or whenever I was starting a difficult task.

Sakura, along with many anime characters, embodies the ganbatte! attitude. In her particular silly show that I watch when trying to unwind, she juggles working hard in school, being social with her friends, numerous household chores, and also saving the city from magical attacks using her special secret powers.

What I love about anime is that they don't neglect the everydayness of life. The premise of a show will be fantastical, but a certain amount of plot will be dedicated to regular tasks: cleaning house, paying rent, taking care of friends and loved ones. I love those scenes best of all, because they are relatable and inspiring. I spend so much time living inside my head, thinking about abstract things, that I am woefully neglectful of my physical environment. Food is just fuel, my room (as mentioned) is a mess — all I'm concerned with is being plugged in to the World Thought Machine and musing away. The everyday scenes of anime make the physical world seem much lovelier, much more invitingly tangible. Chores are transformed into tasks that are done while humming, while upbeat instrumental soundtrack music plays, while chatting easily with your flying magical familiar. I want that life. Laundry looks like so much fun in that life.

Sakura is supposed to be eleven years old, and she's already more useful around the house than I am. She cooks — cooks!! And I don't just mean "cooks", I mean she makes really yummy, balanced meals that I totally want to eat, cooked from scratch. She bakes, she keeps a spotless household, and when friends come over she makes tea and prepares a tray of sweets, sometimes homemade. She splits the chores evenly with her father and brother, and they all do them right. She's more of a phys-ed kind of student, but she still does her best on her shukudai (homework). And when she's confronted with the injustices of being constantly targeted by magical attacks, she retains bright optimism, a big smile, willingness to try anything, and of course an incredibly adorable high-pitched voice done by a professional Japanese voice actor. I love that shit.

Sakura lets her mind focus on small, trivial problems — boy troubles, having her adorable flying magical companion be seen by a bystander, kitchen spills — and maintains a vague but positive outlook on longer term problems. In fact, her most powerful magical spell is: "zettai daijoubu!!" which means, "it'll be okay, for sure!!".

This is not to say that I am opposed to thinking or worrying about serious problems, but there are so many problems that simply don't benefit from constant fretting. I have a lot of multi-step problems in my life, long-term goals, and it does me harm to panic about long-term or future troubles that I cannot yet reach. I do that too much, too.

Sakura's manner with other people is also something to be admired, although this could just be a Japanese cultural thing that I am striving to adopt. She is always bright and cheerful, even if she is sad inside or feeling under the weather. She gives each person 100% of her attention. Her greetings are positively marvelous: bright "good morning!"s and cheery "take care!"s. She tries to be early to all her appointments. She thinks of ways to go the extra distance to make someone happy on a special occasion, like handmade gifts.

These strengths are all my most woeful weaknesses. I am perennially late to everything, I'm selfish, moody, domestically useless, grumpy, generally unfriendly, critical, loudly opinionated, frequently rude and sometimes reclusive. But I know I'd be a happier person if I adapted some of Sakura's traits. At the very least, I'd love myself more. My world would be brighter, certainly cleaner, and would probably have a more upbeat instrumental soundtrack with lots of strings.

When I'm at work, feeling very sorry for myself and hateful towards the many idiotic customers, I try to think, "what would Sakura do?" The answer is usually that she would greet the next customer with a big smile, and help them to the best of her ability. She would bring a little more sunshine and civility into the store. Everyone leaves happy, including me.

Fake smiles start fake, but they trigger endorphins, and soon, at the very least, the urge to sulk will dissipate.

Zettai daijoubu!